Kajira Raven

Exploring Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:11:12 -0400

Characteristics of an emotionally abusive relationship include:

·         Using money as a means of control

·         Threatening to walk out or abandon you

·         Creating fear and anxiety through looks, words, threats and actions

·         Destroying things (and often things you value) – either in a cold and heartless way, or in an angry fit of rage

·         Using blaming, shaming, minimizing and denial to control you

·         Verbally attacking and demeaning you (includes name calling, shouting at you, criticising and putting you down – especially in public)

·         Attacking and putting you down in private, and acting loving and charming in public

·         Minimising the abuse; acting as if you’re over-reacting and it’s “no big deal”

·         Deliberately withholding approval, affirmation and affection as a means of punishment or control

The effects of living with emotional abuse include:

·         A fear of being natural and spontaneous

·         A loss of enthusiasm

·         Insecurity related to how they coming across to others

·         An inner belief that they are deeply flawed

·         A loss of self-confidence and self esteem

·         Growing self-doubt (so they’re afraid to make even the smallest decision, or to take on even the simplest of tasks)

·         Never trusting their own judgment (as they believe that they’re likely to get it wrong, or to misunderstand or misread everything)

·         Having a constant critic in their head

·         Feeling they should be happier and more upbeat than they are (in order to meet the approval of others)

·         Feeling they’re too sensitive, and ought to “toughen up”

·         Fearing they’re going crazy, or losing their mind

·         Having a tendency to live in the future (“Everything will be OK when/after ….”)

·         A desire to break free, escape or run away

·         A distrust and fear of entering into any close relationships again.

thenimbus: hammpix: For those of you who don’t understand...

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:30:39 -0400

thenimbus:

hammpix:

For those of you who don’t understand archaeology, I have made a diagram.

CASE CLOSED.

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:21:53 -0400

prostatelessons: www.prostatelessons.com

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:27:00 -0400

prostatelessons:

www.prostatelessons.com

beautifulindianbrides: Saree by:Alankar This is lush :D

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:21:37 -0400

beautifulindianbrides:

Saree by:Alankar

This is lush :D

this-place-has-gone-bananas: stoleyourgirlfriendand: perrydaplatypus404: “Rule #1 of Tumblr:...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:38:26 -0400

this-place-has-gone-bananas:

stoleyourgirlfriendand:

perrydaplatypus404:

“Rule #1 of Tumblr: Always reblog your crea—”

“This is our site! You must never tell anyone about Tumb—”

“IF YOU DON’T REBLOG THIS, JUST GO AND DELETE YOUR BL—”

“OMG GUYS TUMBLR WAS DOWN AGAIN I SURVIVED THE TUMBLR APOC—”

“OMG NOOOOO YAHOO BOUGHT TUMBLR! GOODBYE EVERYONE WE’RE ALL GONNA DI—”

“BUT IT’S DAVID KARP; HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE OUR LEADER?! OUR DA-“

“HERE COME THE SMIL-“

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:09:02 -0400

syrensphynxwitchtier: teenagecutterissues: gdmcrlover: beatbox...

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:29:13 -0400

syrensphynxwitchtier:

teenagecutterissues:

gdmcrlover:

beatboxgoesthump:

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

i fucking love the shit out of this.

Reblogging this again cuz it is literally my favorite post ever

I am sorry, this didn’t belong on my blog. But seriously, if this doesn’t cheer you up, idk what will. Because seriously, I was dying okay.

I keep imagining Karkat Vantas saying these things

thefrogman: Pie Comic by John McNamee [tumblr]

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:04:01 -0400

thefrogman:

Pie Comic by John McNamee [tumblr]

nudityandnerdery: drearycupcakes: Heck yeah that’s right! A...

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:00:05 -0400

nudityandnerdery:

drearycupcakes:

Heck yeah that’s right!

A movie in the ’70s about a fictional portrayal of the ’50s posted on a blog called forever90s. Ah, Tumblr.

"Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:56:47 -0400

“Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military has the highest number of ‘em. True or not, RUN THE PROTOCOL ANYWAY. Because in 15 years of investigating rape accusations, I can count those that panned out as false on one hand. Meanwhile, the one time I almost skipped the protocol, the one time I almost didn’t believe a petty officer, because I was naive as an investigator and a young woman, because her commanding officer described her as “a party girl, always late, always out drinking, don’t bother with this one”, she turned out to be the victim of one of the most brutal assaults I’ve ever investigated. She shouldn’t have still been -alive-, let alone up and making the accusation. So let me repeat: five false accounts in fifteen years. And one time I almost failed a woman ‘cause of the bullshit way it’s normal to talk about us. Take your shipmates’ word, and then run the protocol. Every. Single. Time.”

- - JAG lawyer, speaking to my husband’s plant during Sexual Assault Prevention Month. (via circusbones)

iamvax: kajiraraven: iamvax: o lawdy I’m starting to get back into efedding. help meeee hahaha....

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:39:56 -0400

iamvax:

kajiraraven:

iamvax:

o lawdy I’m starting to get back into efedding.

help meeee

hahaha. Isn’t that one of the ways I met you?

I actually found a notebook when I cleaned out my library of like old promos that I’d written. It was crazy.

Yea it was. Good times. I remember you being ridiculously good at it too.

Dude my promos were awesome. I must have been the gothiest goth kid ever to write some of them. But they were awesome. XD

iamvax: o lawdy I’m starting to get back into efedding. help meeee hahaha. Isn’t that one of...

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:27:35 -0400

iamvax:

o lawdy I’m starting to get back into efedding.

help meeee

hahaha. Isn’t that one of the ways I met you?

I actually found a notebook when I cleaned out my library of like old promos that I’d written. It was crazy.

ATTENTION PLEASE

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:42:16 -0400

I AM BEGGING YOU TO TAG YOUR DOCTOR WHO STUFF TONIGHT.

I don’t have cable so I wont be able to see the finale until it is available online, usually a few hours after it airs.

I’m tumblr savioring every doctor who thing I can think of but that doesn’t help me if you don’t tag it.

SO PLEASE TAG YOUR DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS

Thank you.

ub-sessed: ZeeK Confeitaria

Sat, 18 May 2013 09:35:59 -0400

ub-sessed:

ZeeK Confeitaria

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:41:24 -0400

princessaryastark: For half a heartbeat she let herself pretend...

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:59:14 -0400

princessaryastark:

For half a heartbeat she let herself pretend that it was her home ahead. But that was stupid. Her home was gone. Arya never seemed to find the places she set out to reach. ~Arya, A Feast for Crows~

makeupftw: http://rockettqueen.tumblr.com Products Used/Blog...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:16:52 -0400

makeupftw:

http://rockettqueen.tumblr.com

Products Used/Blog Post

"Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you based on how you got in..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:14:38 -0400

“

Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you based on how you got in that situation.

Drove drunk, got in an accident and need an organ transplant? No problem.

Messing around with a gun, accidentally shoot yourself in the leg and need surgery? Of course.

Smoke tobacco for most of your life and need treatment for lung cancer? Yep.

Climb a tree, fall out and break your leg? We’ll fix that right up.

Have sex and get pregnant when you don’t want to be? YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SITUATION AND YOU DESERVE NO MEDICAL HELP OR COMPASSION! THIS IS YOUR FAULT AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!

”

- Worry About Your Own Uterus: (via veruca-assault)

“Worry about your own uterus” wise wise words.

(via triplash)

Raven's Wedding Fund

Thu, 16 May 2013 18:52:55 -0400

kajiraraven:

Alright, so as many of you already know, my fiance (masterofbirds) and I are getting married in August.

As a little background for anyone who doesn’t know us very well, Joe (masterofbirds) and I have been together almost five years. We have an awesome daughter together.

But, getting married is expensive. And we are young parents and I’m a student.

So we created a wedding fund donation. Honestly every little bit helps.

So for friends who are interested in helping out, or anyone else interested in helping out for that matter, we have a paypal fund set up.

This is a great wedding present, because it helps the wedding happen to begin with.

So here is the link: Raven and Joe’s Wedding Fund

And thanks to everyone (even if you don’t donate) for just reading all the way to the bottom of this post.

OKAY GUYS ANNOUNCEMENT

Previously this had been sort of a generalized ‘donate to’.

But I wanted to tell all my wonderful followers that I found -the- dress.

What I need is about $150 towards the dress. That isn’t much honestly. Thats 15 people at $10 each, or 30 people at $5 each. Not at all much.

And if you want to see the dress you can inbox me and I’ll show you a picture but I’m not going to just like post it all willy nilly on my blog.

So essentially this is just a reminder that this exists post and a letting everyone know exactly what good they’ll be doing.

You are my favorite people ever. Js.